Good dating site one liners

  • TINDER OPENERS THAT WORK: 3 Samples To Get The Girls!
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  • TINDER OPENERS THAT WORK: 3 Samples To Get The Girls!
  • TINDER OPENERS THAT WORK: 3 Samples To Get The Girls!
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  • humorous one-liners, quotations, Murphy's Laws & much more
  • TINDER OPENERS THAT WORK: 3 Samples To Get The Girls!
  • TINDER OPENERS THAT WORK: 3 Samples To Get The Girls!

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    TINDER OPENERS THAT WORK: 3 Samples To Get The Girls!


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    Best dating site one liners Best dating site one liners - Confident and Unique Believe in your flyness, conquer your shyness.

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    Got some humorous one-liners, observations, deep thoughts, self-defacing intros, Henny Youngmanesque stuff E-mail your submissions to the Bit-O-Humor staff.

    This is stuff that can work good for liners and closing remarks. Newer contributions are at placed at the top: It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm actually quite busy.

    If you go to a bookstore and ask them where the 'Self-Help' section is, would that defeat the purpose? At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling You bought your wife a new CD-ROM for her birthday You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.

    You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.

    TINDER OPENERS THAT WORK: 3 Samples To Get The Girls!


    You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area You have even saved the power cord from a broken appliance You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts You know what http: Men are like bank accounts.

    Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest. My parents were soooooo poor, they got married for the rice. Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors. Bothne The best things in life are free Give 'til it hurts We were soooooo poor, we went to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick the other kid's fingers.

    Well, all I can say is, I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes. Money can't buy everything Money takes the sting out of being poor. It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you have money. We were sooooooo poor Money can't buy happiness, but it can help you look for it quicker, in a convertible. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

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    TINDER OPENERS THAT WORK: 3 Samples To Get The Girls!


    Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.

    One liners by tag

    God did not create the world in 7 days; he messed around for 6 days and then pulled an all-nighter. I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is improving. Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out? Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

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    I am having an out of money experience. I plan on living forever.

    humorous one-liners, quotations, Murphy's Laws & much more

    So far, so good. Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths. Practice safe eating-always use condiments. A day without sunshine is like night. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws. Are snakes afraid of other snakes?

    If you overdosed on decongestant tablets, would you turn into a pile of dust?

    The Ultimate List of Online Dating Profile Quotes

    Why don't ceramic cats come complete with synthetic hairballs? At an 'all-you-can-eat' restaurant, is there a penalty for eating less than you can? Why is it that most irons have a setting for 'permanent press' garments? Do hermits ever suffer from peer pressure? Why is it a 'garage door opener', since it opens and closes the door? Could you be arrested for selling 'illegal-sized' paper?

    TINDER OPENERS THAT WORK: 3 Samples To Get The Girls!


    If you wear your heart on your sleeve, where do you display other bodily parts? And how come there's never a garage actually for sale at all those garage sales? How would you ever know if a word was mis-spelled in the dictionary? If we know the speed of light, why hasn't anyone calculated the speed of dark? What's another word for 'thesaurus'?

    How come birds aren't tickled by feathers? If only the good die young then what does that say about senior citizens? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

    Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs? How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

    TINDER OPENERS THAT WORK: 3 Samples To Get The Girls!


    Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading And all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

    Lots of comedians have people they try to mimic. I mimic my shadow. I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one It wasn't doing what I was doing. I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me -- and I didn't hear it. I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, 'I think I might have written that. I said, 'Yes, but not right now. I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract.

    No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it. My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going to move to New York. I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

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