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    Share this article Share Henning Wiechers, who conducted the recent survey on behalf of Metaflake, the vast German online dating agency, claimed that when people are too old to go clubbing, they need to access a second marriage market — and that the internet provides the perfect forum.

    After my partner died, I thought to myself: According to a new survey, the lucrative online dating industry is growing fastest in the plus age group I put up my profile and waited for the responses to pour in at the same time as combing the sites — from the ubquitous eHarmony to overfifties.

    Disappointment soon set in. In most cases, the photos were an instant turn-off, as they all seemed to be bald and have white beards as well as inane grins and bad teeth.

    I soon learned this was online dating-speak for hugely overweight. None seemed to have any of the extra pounds that actually counted, namely money. Most had long lists of hobbies and although almost all pronounced themselves witty and with a good sense of humour, there was nothing remotely amusing about anything they said.

    Yet they were very exacting in their requirements for a new partner; they all wanted somebody slim, elegant, solvent — and younger than themselves. A few sounded kinky — to be avoided at all costs. But some might be better than they sounded, I thought, so, lowering my standards, I took the plunge and sent a few messages. Only two did I actually meet. One, a professor of architecture, sounded promising, and we met in a pub outside Oxford. It was hopeless from the start.

    At 63 he had a teenage son, plus he was paying maintenance for two other children from an earlier relationship.

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    With the other one, I did what online daters are advised never to do, and met him at his home, thinking that he was unlikely to be a serial rapist. He said he was a writer, so that was clearly, for me at least, a major plus. What he was really after was a nurse or housekeeper. The idyllic cottage was monstrously untidy, littered with papers, dusty and dirty and he was fusty and not very clean either.

    Then, miraculously, I found somebody who sounded just right, a film producer with several well-known films to his credit.

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    Our profiles seemed to be a good match — with many sites, you are given a compatibility rating, and this one was more than 80 per cent. I contacted him and we had several lively and interesting telephone conversations, but when it came to meeting, he was evasive. He eventually revealed why. At least 25 per cent of men who go onto these sites are married and wanting a fling rather than a serious relationship. Over several years of on-off internet dating, I have never found anybody suitable to be even a casual friend, let alone an intimate partner.

    Most men who have tried it tell me the same story; that they cannot, however hard they try, find the woman of their dreams. Another man said that he met somebody who seemed great and they got on so well that they arranged to go on a holiday to South Africa together.

    He paid upfront and she was going to reimburse him for her share of the cost. This meant he was left to pay for the whole trip, so he went on his own because it was too late to cancel. Both men and women seeking older partners on the internet report that meeting dates in the flesh usually means confronting a reality which falls far short of the attractive images cultivated online.

    They are almost always shorter and older than they make out, few have any money, most are overweight and often have serious health issues as well. And I hate to say it, but men are always keener to meet women younger than them, rather than sophisticated women from their own generation. I have two friends in their 60s who have met people online that they have gone on to marry, and they appear to be blissfully happy.

    But, as I know, the industry, like the Lottery, makes its millions from the majority who buy a hope that will never be fulfilled. Advertisement Share or comment on this article: Dating sites for us oldies?

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    When do I hire a VP of Sales? My response is always the same: When you really need one. So, what does that mean? The most successful CEOs come from backgrounds in finance and operations. Yet many company leaders also necessarily take on the crucial task of generating those early sales.

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    So, during start-up and initial operations, when CEOs think in terms of building the company by building a stellar leadership team, they want to pass on those vital sales responsibilities as quickly as possible to a proven sales expert. After all, a good leader should hire other good leaders, right? In fact, poaching an expert VP of Sales by offering a sizeable opportunity and compensation package is counterproductive.

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    An extremely successful VP of Sales has become successful because they effectively manage a sales force. A new VP will want to replicate that success by building their new sales team and developing a sales process, complete with expensive sales automation tools.

    In the long term that is exactly what your company needs. In the short term, however, that is a potentially dangerous waste of resources for your new company during a crucial period. While the VP of sales is putting together a team and developing long-term strategies, nobody is focusing on making actual sales. Lots of money going out, none coming in. The results can be disastrous. The VP of Sales and the team are either fired, quit, or the company runs out of money. Build your sales team from the bottom up.

    It may feel counter-intuitive, but the bottom up process is more logical and practical for new companies. It makes much more sense to hire a junior salesperson - someone who will one day report to the VP you eventually hire.

    The junior salesperson is expected to be out there making contacts and making sales, which is - at this point in time - what the company needs. Look for someone in the industry with knowledge and experience, demonstrated success, and capacity to learn. After the salesperson starts to take over more and more responsibility and sales start increasing, hire another junior salesperson and start slowly building your team.

    Most importantly, keep the team focused on generating sales. At this point, allow the team to start building a sales process and choose some tools that fit your environment. The answer is simple: Hire your VP of Sales when you're generating enough sales for a VP to manage and your process is starting to strain at scale.

    That's when you really need one. That's when it makes sense to hire a mega-talented VP of Sales with exactly the qualities and skills you need. That's when you're ready to recruit a proven, effective leader, someone qualified to create the big vision, continue building a sales force, make the strategic long-range plan, and facilitate the team's success.

    And that's when you can afford to invest in the best VP of Sales you can find. In the meanwhile, the "Bottom Up" strategy is a better short-term approach in terms of all primary company resources - money, staff, time- and it leads directly to stronger company success in the long term.
    This makes him rare in that he has won Grammies for both comedy and music.

    He is in the horn section of B. King 's "In The Midnight Hour" music video. He studied philosophy at California State University at Long Beach, and for a while, considered becoming a philosophy professor instead of an actor-comedian. He periodically spoofed his philosophy studies in his s stand-up act, such as comparing Philosophy with studying Geology: He also worked for neighboring amusement park Knott's Berry Farm as a comedian in their "Birdcage Theatre".

    It was during these jobs that he honed his skills in live performance, such as improv comedy, banjo playing, juggling, and lassoing.

    He graduated from Garden Grove High School in He attended Rancho Alamitos High School in the beginning of his high school career, but then high school attendance areas were changed, and he had to start going to Garden Grove. He was also a cheerleader at Rancho and often did his King Tut dance. However, he holds the records for guest appearances 25 on the show followed closely by Buck Henryhosting at 15 times, he sets the standard for the SNL "Five Timers Club"and hosting in a single season 3.

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    He is also the only person to have hosted a season premiere, a season finale, and a Christmas show. He was also scheduled to host for the ill-fated season, but a writers strike prevented this. He is a fan of Monty Python's Flying Circus This led to him becoming the host and narrator of the documentary Parrot Sketch Not Included: Twenty Years of Monty Python His study of philosophy was a source of much of his material for his s standup act. He played the banjo in his guest appearance on the The Muppet Show He was voted Most Talented by his classmates at Garden Grove high school.

    He also plays the harmonica. At his insistence, the season premiere of Saturday Night Live hosted by Martin went on, despite the fact that there hadn't been a dress rehearsal.

    There was a fire in a nearby studio and the cast and crew were evacuated from Rockefeller Center just before dress rehearsal was scheduled to begin. He was listed as a potential nominee on both the and Razzie Award nominating ballots. Back in Action on the ballot. He was suggested again three years later in the Worst Actor category on the ballot for his performance in The Pink Pantherbut he failed to receive any one of these nominations.

    He later ended up receiving his first Razzie nomination for The Pink Panther 2 However, in a interview in the UK's "Uncut" magazine, he revealed this was not true, he knows nothing about it and he believed it had started as a false claim by someone on the internet. He was on an episode of The Dating Game before he was famous in He won a date with an old friend named Marscha Walker, whom he had not seen in three years.

    He appeared on the show again the next year and won again. He wore the same shirt and jacket. He lists British television especially the comedies as his biggest influence. He fell into depression for a couple of months when his good friend John Candy died. He is a fan of the animated series Dave the Barbarian After inviting friends including Tom HanksDiane Keaton and Eugene Levy to a dinner party, he married his longtime girlfriend Anne Stringfield in a surprise ceremony at their Los Angeles home.

    His wife is a writer for The New Yorker. He wore his Inspector Clouseau mustache during his wedding because he is reprising his role for the upcoming sequel to The Pink Panther He is a huge fan of British comedian David Walliams.

    He has a sister named Melinda. Even though during his stand up days he said he was a "wild and crazy guy", in real life he is actually quite shy and quiet.

    Recipient of the Kennedy Center Honors. He told Terry Gross on her National Public Radio program "Fresh Air" that he smoked a fair amount of marijuana in the late s until one night when he had a panic attack at a showing of the Mel Brooks movie The Producers After that, he never smoked pot again, and he believes that the negative experience saved him from the harder drug abuse and addiction that plagued so many of his colleagues during the next few decades.

    He was Warner Bros. However he turned it down as with the death of his good friend John Candy and his divorce from Victoria Tennant he was too sad to make any movies. He co-wrote two songs with Martin Mull: Although many critics were disdainful of his overtly silly act early in his career, its postmodern nature was admired by avant garde filmmakers David Lynch and Stanley Kubrickboth of whom approached Martin to appear in ultimately unproduced comedy films.

    He attended Rancho Alamitos his freshman and sophomore years. He was the freshman class president, and a member of the cheer leading squad at Rancho where some of his zany comical routines were first tested out. When the school boundaries were shifted, they put him in Garden Grove high school attendance area. He has a dog named Wally. He is a fan of Carl Ballantine. When Martin lived in his Manhattan apartment, his next door neighbor was Mary Steenburgen. He learned to play the banjo by playing LPs at 16rpm speed.

    This approach enabled him to more accurately pick the individual notes due to the halved playback LP speed. He was one of the victims of a gang of German art forgers, who made an estimated 16 million Euros. InSteve bought a counterfeit painting of the artist "Campendonk".

    Luckily, he sold the painting in before the forgeries were discovered. He is the father, with Anne Springfield, of a daughter born in December Cruel Shoes [February ] Release of his book, "Shopgirl".

    With Bonus Letter Z". A Play by Carl Sternheim". He was one of the first celebrities to pay tribute to Robin Williams on his Twitter feed and as such his tribute was featured in many news reports on Williams' death. He was romantically involved with, and at one point engaged to, Bernadette Peterswith whom he worked in several films in the s and 80s.

    He became a father for the first time at age He has stated the main factor when deciding which roles to play is if the script appeals to him, if it doesn't, he won't play the role. His favorite horror movie is Black Christmas When he first met lead actress of the film, Olivia Hussey, he claimed he had seen it 27 times.

    He was considered for the role of Harry Sultenfuss in My Girlbut was busy with the remake of Father of the Bride at the same time and was unable to take the part. The role was given instead to Dan Aykroyd. At one point he was due to play the title role in The Walker and studied television interviews with Gore Vidal in his preparation. He has hosted Saturday Night Live - fifteen times, a record second only to his friend Alec Baldwin who has hosted seventeen times.

    He holds the record for hosting Saturday Night Live - five times in the shortest amount of time, doing so in five-hundred and forty-six days. As ofhas never appeared in a film nominated for the the Best Picture Oscar. Personal Quotes 33 I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can buy.

    The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke. I wrote a novel this year called "Shop Girl", and several producers came to me and wanted to turn it into a movie.

    And I said, "If you think you're going to take this book and change it around, and Hollywoodize it and change the ending. Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you are an idiot. Having this kind of beauty is actually a burden. Sometimes I go to a party and not one of the other 49 most beautiful people is there. That makes me feel very solitary and alone, because it means I am the most beautiful person in the room.

    If I'm going to a party where I know there will be "less-beautiful people," I try to "dress down" in order to hide my beauty.

    But this seems to have a counter-effect of actually making me more beautiful. I guess me and dungarees are a pretty potent combination. I try not to lord my beauty over others. This is very hard.

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    I try not to mention that I am one of the most beautiful people, but somehow it always comes out. I will usually only bring it up when I'm asked to do a task, like open a garage door. People seem to enjoy my beauty and are genuinely happy for me, because after I mention it they always say, "How nice for you. And then I realized; we are all here tonight, because of a common love: Comedians don't get Oscars, so I gave up on that a long time ago.

    And I can't really speak about the Oscar-worthiness of my own performance. I lost 20 pounds - actually, I lost 25 pounds, but then I gained 5 back because I was too skinny.

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    I didn't change what I ate, I just started eating smaller portions. And I cut out bread - that's the real killer, because I was reaching in and eating half a loaf before dinner arrived. All you have to do is that, and then you can drink all you want.

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