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    Can You Break the Cycle of Dysfunction? We venture out into the big, bold world carving out our own paths. Even more surprisingly, some of us discover that we married people just like our parents.

    Relationships that have weathered the storms of time can be great teachers. Each of us grew up with our own compass. Some were strong and firm, guiding us wisely and getting us to our destinations on time and in pretty good shape. Others, however, were a little faulty.

    These are the types of relationships that we rebel against and swear we will never have. And yet, these are the ones that we often find ourselves in. Below are some common relationship patterns.

    We can explore our emotional triggers as a couple and begin to understand why our parents did the things they did, why we do the things we do, and what we can do differently. People often use this as a coping mechanism when they are fearful of confrontation.

    Rather than allowing themselves to be vulnerable, they withdraw and bottle their feelings up. The result is short, terse and often critical communication or none at all. Understanding what lies behind passive aggressive tendencies helps us get to the core of our fears. Instead of falling into that pattern of behavior, we can pause and focus on what we frightens us.

    Are we afraid of being vulnerable with our spouse? Are we worried they will belittle our true feelings? Or are we scared of a negative reaction from them? Rather than withdrawing inside ourselves, we have the opportunity to reach out to our mates. We can look at the model we saw in our own parents and go toward our partners instead of away from them. When we give our spouse a glimpse inside our hearts, we give them the chance to heal with us. Start by pausing instead of reacting.

    The pain is severe and feelings of betrayal and distrust can be overwhelming. Affairs, whether physical or emotional, can rock the foundation of the most solid relationships. The betrayed often denies and ignores the affairs, stuffing their true emotions. The betrayer is seen as disrespectful, controlling, manipulative and dishonest. If we find ourselves living with an unfaithful spouse, we have every reason to feel angry and hurt.

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    But we also have the choice to address the infidelity. Specifically, address the root cause of the infidelity. Is our spouse feeling neglected? Do they have sexual integrity or sex addiction issues? These are not easy topics to explore.

    However, examining them closely will allow us to identify the behaviors and circumstances that could contribute to infidelity. Most people assume that once infidelity is forgiven, the relationship can get back on track. Moving forward, each spouse must work on forgiving themselves and the other for any wrongdoing. Set healthy boundaries for communication and sexual interaction. Anger Based Communication Anger is the poorest form of communication in any relationship.

    If we witnessed our parents wield anger as a weapon, we may think that is the only way to interact with our spouse. Usually, one spouse uses anger and the other retreats. When this happens, nothing gets resolved. The angry spouse reacts without really expressing their true emotions and the recipient of the anger shuts down and stuffs their feelings. When anger is used to resolve a disagreement, it sets the stage for even more anger from both spouses.

    The cycle of anger can be broken. Whether we are the one delivering or receiving the anger, we have a choice to change. Instead of flying off the handle and yelling, throwing or threatening our spouse, we can develop tools to manage our anger. Breathing techniques, meditation and slow counting may sound trite, but they work. If we are unable to address a situation calmly, we can walk away and gather ourselves until we are ready to communicate better. Sometimes a discussion will have to be shelved for an entire day so that we can bring productive words and ideas to the table.

    Anger is always fear based. If we live with an angry spouse, we may have stopped using our own voice a long time ago. Unless we are in danger of being physically hurt, we have to find the courage to speak up for ourselves. This is difficult for those of us who have stuffed and been walked over our whole lives. But it is possible.

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    The best time to express our feelings is when our partner is calm. Substance Abuse Addiction and alcoholism are family diseases. Many children of addicts were overachievers at a young age, trying anything to win the affection of their parents.

    These are behaviors that we carry with us into adult relationships. When we try to control an alcoholic or addict, we can be left feeling depleted and frustrated. Sick people will only get help when they are ready and willing. We can lead them to meetings, therapy and recovery, but they often rebel.

    Cheating Spouse Share Your Cheating Story Read And Comment Stories

    This can lead to a vicious cycle of defeat and resentment. In these situations, we have to learn how to take care of ourselves. It is not up to us to fix our spouse. We can also benefit greatly from support groups designed for family members of alcoholics and addicts. Others of us may do everything we can to keep our spouse with us, even if it means allowing unacceptable behavior. We may buy their alcohol and allow drug use in our homes.

    Even if we know it is the wrong thing, the fear of losing our partner may be stronger than our desire to demonstrate tough love. Support groups and therapy can help us learn how to develop tools that allow us to navigate this type of relationship without compromising our own mental and physical health. If our spouse is abusive, our first priority should be to ensure we are safe.

    As abuse victims, we often feel like we did something to cause the abuse. We may have guilt and shame and be fearful of sharing our situation with others. Getting help from professionals or support organizations teaches us how to look at the abuse objectively.

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    But most often, we will discover ways to put the blame where it belongs, on our spouse. This act alone frees us from our self-imposed prisons and gives us the power to make changes to our situation. If we are the abuser, we must first recognize that our behavior is not acceptable. If we were abused as children, we may know no other way of functioning.

    We may abuse out of fear, out of a need for control or out of anger. Regardless, the behavior must be stopped. Taking responsibility for our actions is the first step. When we can see that our behavior is unhealthy, we can start to look for new ways to cope.

    We can also begin to address the emotions that underlie our behavior.

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    And we must be patient with ourselves. But with professional help and support, we can begin to become the spouse we truly want to be. They all have their own unique set of criteria that defines them. The choice is up to us. We can either look back to our pasts with blinders. Or, even if it is painful, we can find clues in our pasts that will lead us to a vibrant and healthy relationship full of marital treasures just waiting to be discovered. Are you not having the love life of your dreams?

    With the rise of movies and television series over the last couple of decades, we have almost lost a sense of reality. We have genres such as comedy, romance and drama. Each of these almost always have a love story intertwined within the plot. These movies and televisions depicting different kinds of love stories may alter what we think is an ideal relationship in real life.

    We find ourselves striving for relationships that we see on television and in the movie theater. They give us a false sense of what a successful love life looks like. So, what do we do when we do not have the love life of our dreams? As an Author, Speaker and Publisher, Fiona Fine is growing a movement for women to live and love on their terms.

    To find out more about Fiona Fine and her company and publications, you can visit her website. Are You Having Trouble with Communication?
    Meet Cheaters For Adult Dating Though dating a cheater could seem like a bad idea for some people, the reality is that they're actually fun to meet. Believe it or not, tons of couples these days experience cheating at some point in their lives; it could be that the other partner finds that the relationship has lost all of its former luster and that it's time to find someone new.

    So, if you're someone who's not looking for anything serious in dating and you'd just like to have a more relaxed kind of dating experience, then sign up free at The Affair Site today and meet cheaters near you!

    Why Use An Affair Website? Many people have an online affair because an affair website makes it so much easier to meet people anonymously and safely.

    It's not always straightforward to read whether someone is keen for a no strings encounter when you meet them in a bar, but on a site dedicated to extramarital flings, it is obvious! Adult dating is easy to do online, as you can join free, browse profiles and photos, and find fellow married adulterers in your area to chat with. You can then decide if you want to meet for something more. TheAffairSite makes it so much easier to start a fling.

    Married Affair A married affair is something that many people frown upon We understand that sometimes people just need to do what feels good.

    Cheating Spouse Share Your Cheating Story Read And Comment Stories

    Many women have revealed they have one night stands and married women are no different in that they sometimes too crave one night of reckless abandon. Marital fidelity or the lack thereof has entered the collective consciousness in the last few years following a series of well publicised celebrity marital affairs that hit the headlines.

    Married people across the UK looked on disapprovingly, but the reality is that many more cheating spouses are unfaithful than anyone realises. Illicit Affair The word 'illicit' captures the naughtiness involved in a good old bit of extracurricular activity and it explains why so many people do it! Being sensible and straight laced all the time can get dull, and it is human nature to seek a thrill.

    We all know how life short is, but how many of us actually have the courage to take what we want - to really make it happen? The risk element can be a real turn-on, and for some people that is the whole point in a fling.

    However, just make sure you don't get carried away - getting discovered is not a good look! Secret Affair A secret affair can be a lot of fun. It spices things up knowing that it's something known only between you and the other party. Some people also get quite a thrill out of the sneaking around, as well as meeting in hotels.

    It can add excitement where so many of us are lacking it, either because our relationships have grown stale, or because we spend too much time working and not enough having fun. Having an anonymous tryst can be a big decision.

    It's important that you are confident that you can keep it secret, as you should not want to hurt your partner or spouse emotionally.

    As exciting and reinvigorating as it can be, you should make sure you are prepared for the secrecy that it involves. Extramarital Affairs Extramarital affairs can be important to save marriages, believe it or not. There are a lot of marriages that are built on solid foundations, and which are very loving, but where the spark has gone. In this situation, some additional romance can be just what you need to enable you to keep the marriage functioning.

    Dating a stranger or a simple one night stand encounter can give you the release you need, and if you keep it discreet, everyone can stay happy.

    Many people would be shocked to learn the statistics regarding extra-marital dalliances. Married Dating So what is no strings dating with another married person like?

    Dating between two married people is often surprisingly easy. Both parties need to keep the affair secret, so both will respect that and there is little chance of being found out.

    Dating sites for married people can allow members to rekindle their passion, and rediscover romance and excitement. The etiquette is very much that you don't enquire too much into the marriage of the other party.

    Remember, they are seeing you for some fun escapism, and don't want to be reminded about their spouse. Remember what a website for affairs caters for, and you'll be fine! Adultery Adultery is an emotive subject. People who have been hurt by a cheating spouse evoke a lot sympathy, and it's easy to understand why.

    Cheating Spouse Share Your Cheating Story Read And Comment Stories

    However, it's important to realise that adultery crosses the gender divide pretty evenly. The latest statistics suggest more women may be cheating than men, and more and more husbands cheating wives are finding their comfortable home lives changing around them. We are making changes to our websites following an investigation by the Competition and Markets Authority and in preparation for changes to the data protection laws brought in by the General Data Protection Regulation.

    The changes reflect the requirements of UK consumer protection law and the new data protection laws. We will send you more information about these changes before they are implemented. In the meantime, further information is available from the websites of the Competition and Markets Authority www.

    How to FIND OUT if your partner is on DATING SITES, cheating online.


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