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    Contact Author Another Night at Bars?

    You are a gay man who has been single far too long. You are good looking and smart, have a great set of friends, and take care of yourself: I keep going week after week and no luck.

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    Will it happen tonight? Oh crap, is that a pimple? There are tons of hurdles to overcome that can make it feel like the deck is stacked against us. One major barrier can be figuring out where to meet someone. While bars can be a fun place to hang out with our friends, they are not always conducive to romantic connections.

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    And let's face it—as time goes on, the inability to meet a quality person can take its toll on our confidence. After speaking with a number of formerly single gay men who are now happily partnered, I will now reveal seven places to find your next boyfriend that are not a bar.

    You'll find suggestions you've heard before, some of that are unconventional, and others that may even be silly. But if you're trying to break out of the bars, you may want to give them all a chance.

    I will add that this list is by no means exhaustive—please feel free to add ideas in the comment section at the end of this article. You have tried everything else—so what else do you have to lose? Okay—let's look at the list! Dating Apps and Web Sites Source You may be thinking that using apps and websites seems silly, but many gay men have met the guy of their dreams by using these types of platforms.

    Popular ones include OKCupid and Gay. Some of these are free while others cost a small amount or charge a nominal fee for premium services. The great thing about apps and websites is that most all of them nowadays allow the user to input certain search criteria or filter out folks based on user preferences.

    You can also check MeetUp for gay groups of common interests in your area. If you like outdoor activities, check out Gay Outdoors.

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    If you are one of those people, you need to rethink this and do so quickly. According to recent research, there are 41 million people in the US who are currently looking to meet that special someone online.

    This statistic does not speak to the number of single gay men specifically, but we make up a fair amount of that number. If you have tried dating using apps and sites before with no luck, consider using a different app. Scroll through your smartphone's options and pick something new.

    The idea here is to create change. Remember, dating is a numbers game. You have to put yourself out there in order to make it happen.

    And here is one final point on this suggestion—while Grindr, Scruff, and other apps are great tools for meeting people, keep in mind that some of these platforms are more sexually charged than others.

    There is nothing wrong with this but if your goal is to date, using the right app is important. We are talking millions! There are a number of fan pages and groups on Facebook that are specifically designed for gay men who are single and relationship-ready. Remember, the people who are putting themselves out there are doing so with the same motivations that you are—to connect with someone for romance. Did you know you can search Facebook for people on your friends list that are single?

    You might be surprised. Of course, identification as single on Facebook depends on what the user indicates in their profile. But using this approach does allow you to see potential candidates. If they are an acquaintance, why not consider going out for a coffee?

    Later on the both of you might figure out that was your "first" date. Again, what do you have to lose? Plus, many of us like to get all dolled up and go to events, like fundraisers for the different causes we support.

    Get rid of the wing-man. In this capacity, you help to fill the table by soliciting people for donations. As captain, you have control over who is seated at your table—which is a huge advantage for you! Plus, you get to network with others who may be single and thereby expand your circle of available men. Go to the fundraiser with the mindset of supporting the cause you care about, but be open to meeting someone new. Local Community Classes This particular suggestion has worked well for many gay men who were formerly single.

    Do you like photography? What about painting, fitness, biking, aviation, cooking, horticulture, and so forth? One of the great things about about taking a class is the built-in advantage of a shared interest! Many classes are free or at little cost. You can find them by doing a Google search using your hometown or county in the search terms and seeing what pops up.

    Chose a community class you are genuinely interested in and not just one where you think all of the hot men will be. Remember, it is only a shared interest if it is genuine. Volunteer This particular suggestion is a twofer when you think about it. First, you get the benefit of giving the gift of yourself to a cause you care about.

    Second, you will undoubtedly meet new people.

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    More than a few happily partnered gay men have reported that they met their man through this approach. And so if you care about the environment for example, why not contact your local Greenpeace? If your passion is supporting your local LGBT community center, why not call them to see how they can use your gifts?

    Some people worry about the time commitment required to volunteer for an organization. This is a very valid concern. It helps if you are up front about what you can and cannot do when you speak to the volunteer coordinator. Even if you can only be a greeter for an annual event or work the coat check, for example, it is something.

    And hey, a little bit of something is better than a whole lot of nothing. Professional Organizations Source Yep, you read that right! A professional organization to which you may already belong likely has a chapter dedicated for LGBT members.

    Are you a pilot? Are you a lawyer?

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    Do a search on gay lawyer associations and see what pops up. In New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles for example, there are city-focused professional associations for lawyers. There are gay chapters just for LGBT folks. The point here is that whatever you do for employment, there is likely a professional organization with a gay-focused subdivision.

    Almost all of them hold events, including socials, mixers, and fundraisers.

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    If you belong to one of these associations, great—your work is half done. If not, why not look for one that fits your particular background?

    As mentioned earlier, dating is a numbers game. Many partnered men have reported meeting their husband at their local gay-friendly church or spiritual center. There are a lot of gay men who are deeply spiritual—and not just the bat-crap, self-loathing types that we often hear about, either. If you have a local place of worship or other community-based venue for spirituality and you identify with what is offered, why not give it a try? More and more, religious organizations are recognizing that LGBT folks have spiritual needs.

    If you are one of those people who are not sure what you believe in, consider taking the Belief-o-Matic self-assessment. Did you know there are gay communities of Agnostics, Quakers, Pagans, Humanists, and so forth? And there are gay atheists who congregate, as well. Take the self-assessment to see where you fit in. Obviously, going to a local gay-friendly church or spiritual center should be about your spiritual nourishment and well-being.

    Think about this first before you decide which venue for spirituality is best for you. Final Thoughts The dream that one day, you will meet the guy of your dreams is a wonderful thing to dream about.

    But fantasizing and doing something to make it happen are two different things. If you want to meet your next boyfriend, then you will have to take control of the process. The Promethean spark of love only happens if there are two available people who happen to be at the right place at the right time. Why not try something new?

    Tomorrow could be a great day! Did I miss any places to find boyfriends? Leave suggestions in the comments! Gay Men and Bars Are you sick of gay bars to meet new men because: Too many people around I don't like going to bars I never meet quality people I don't drink alcohol There is too much drama involved It is too expensive.
    Contact Author Source Now, I have to spill a secret.

    I've always had a crush on my professors back in my college days. I am always drawn to them; Maybe it is their maturity, or the way they express their opinions on difficult topics or it is the way they carry themselves or maybe it is because they are already self-sufficient. Some people tell me that I may be just looking for a father-figure but I am not. There are a lot of good reasons why some women like me prefer older men and I am going to enumerate some of them here.

    And when you finally know the difference between the two, you are now ready for a deeper commitment" — quotesgram. Men are like wine. They get better with age.

    Their experiences in life, at work and in previous relationships have taught them a lot of life lessons to make their situation better than before. They know what they want and they go for it. They are very confident and so they carry themselves very well especially in public.

    They are generally well-mannered. They have been to several places in the past and so they know a lot of things about other cultures. Older men are also better when it comes to handling their finances. They have lived long enough to be self-sufficient and to know how to handle their money very well. So if you are dating an older guy, do not be wasteful of money. Older men are more responsible when it comes to handling their finances Women date older men for practical reasons Now this is the financial aspect which, by the way, is an important aspect of every relationship.

    It is not about being a gold-digger or a social climber. It is all about practicality. When you start a family for example, it is important that the man is able to provide security. A self-sufficient woman will not easily settle for anyone who earns less. Except of course when she is truly madly deeply in love with a guy and if she owns a company or something but that is not what this article is about.

    That is considering that he continued to work and save as he gets older. In this regard, an older man has enough assets and money in the bank to support a family. This is why women go for financially-stable men instead of those who are still generally starting with their career. Money is not everything in a relationship but without money, the relationship is bound to fail at some point especially when there are kids involved in the relationship already. I am not saying that women should depend on their partner financially but some societies consider it ideal for women to stay at home and take care of the kids and the husband will work for the family.

    And women date in order to find a man whom she can live with all her life and start a family with. Women don't date just for the sake of dating. They are also thinking of the future Older Men May Be Better in Terms of Pleasing and Handling Women I am pretty sure this statement will get a lot of comments and disagreements because women generally have different sexual preferences and I respect that of course.

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    In my opinion though, older men have had their fair share of both short-lived and more stable relationships and this gives them a bit of an advantage when it comes to handling relationships.

    Their previous experiences have helped them learn what women generally want and what makes women happy. They are able to control their sexual urges more responsibly and they know which body part is sensitive to touch etc. Not only do they know more in bed but they also understand women a little bit better. They are more sensitive to their partner's needs.

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    They are generous in bed and they are passionate lovers. Older men tend to be more romantic as well. They have good sense of humor that does not involve shaming their friends or whatever. Lastly, they are less aggressive than younger men. Older Men Generally Look for a Serious Relationship Men mature much later than women and normally middle age in men is the age of maturity. This is where they seek for a more stable and healthy relationship.

    Playtime is over and it is time for them to be serious with their life. This is the age where they usually have pieced their life altogether and they are now ready for a more serious and deeper commitment. Younger men are still in their vigorous stage where they are easily tempted.

    They are still at an age where they love to explore and try different things before settling on something more serious. So if a girl feels that she is ready to tie the knot, or when she is ready for a serious commitment and start a family, a younger man is just not the right person for her. Older Men Have More Sophisticated Taste When it comes to the finer things in life like wine, food, beer, traveling and clothes, older men tend to choose the more sophisticated ones.

    First, they can afford it and second they just know that it is better quality. They also know however, that when it comes to food and drinks quality does not always come with a price. You can find an affordable place that serves a 5-star quality food and drinks with much better service as well.

    They understand "value for money". They are happy to sit in one corner where you have all the view to yourself …now that takes careful planning, timing and experience But I am still always amazed at my partner because he can cook very well.

    I find it very sexy when a man knows how to cook and not just a simple dish like boiled potatoes and fried eggs. I mean some dishes like beef bourguignon, potato au gratin, Indian Curry, lasagna and stuffs like that. I really admire men who can cook and tend for themselves. It is quite seldom for younger guys these days to be self-sufficient especially in my own country.

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    They always rely on their mothers to cook for them and take care of all their needs. And that is not my cup of tea. Older Men Generally Live a Healthy Lifestyle They love to drink wine and beer and yes some of them smoke as well but they know their limitations unless of course when they have difficulty coping with their own problems which I believe is an exception because older men can generally handle their problems because they are mature enough to solve them.

    Older men have at least one or two sports that they really enjoy doing.

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    They maintain an active lifestyle apart from the office. They like spending their money on things like travel and spare parts for their car or bike and not on gadgets and game consoles which the younger men are more inclined to buy.

    What do you think is the greatest challenge when dating an older person? I find their topics a little bit shallow for my taste. Younger men usually talk about girls, cars, technology and gadgets. Older men on the other hand can talk about politics, religion, sexuality, economy, relationships, food and travels which are exactly my interests.

    In my experience, once you start dating an older man the guys within your age bracket becomes either immature or too dumb for you. Some of my friends do not understand why I liked older men. Some people think i am a gold-digger. But no matter what people say i just can't force myself to have a fulfilling and healthy relationship with a guy close to my age.

    Either they are too immature for me, too boring or too serious for my liking.

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    I find older men to be perfect for me. My partner right now is 15 years older and i am so happy. He is constantly supportive and he encourages me to be the best version of me. He complements on the aspects that i am lacking. Although it may be a bit difficult to keep up with his pace sometimes i believe i am where i should be. I don't need to make people understand but i want to make things clear

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